Rhoda Penmark

Hi, Rhoda,

Yes, I've been talking to Ice T about her blues. I'm sure she appreciates your being worried about her, too.

How's that molecular transformation thing workin' out for ya? Is it dependable and safe? Ever since seeing "The Fly", I've been a little hesitant to let a machine scramble the molecules of my body. Well, the transporter accident in the first Star Trek movie was a little disturbing, too.

The physicist Brian Greene says, "All you are is a bag of particles acting out the laws of physics." Assuming he is correct, it is certainly conceivable that there could exist an arrangment of particles that would represent your mind, memories, and emotions, but would have the outward appearance of Raquel Welch in "One Million Years B.C." And, given that it is conceivable, if the universe is truly infinite, it must exist somewhere.

So, Rhoda, do you think I could use your molecular transformer sometime? I'd like to go out on a dream date with Jane Wiedlin. Oh, and then I'd like to go on a dream date with Susanna Hoffs. The list is endless. But then, I imagine myself caught in a spider web saying, "Help me! Help me!" Maybe I'd better just drop the molecular transformation idea.

I guess checkers or tic-tac-toe would be kind of dull. I've tried 3-dimensional chess, though, and it's pretty freaky. How about something in between, like backgammon or cribbage?

So, Sue Ann is en Mexico, buscando los zapatos. Well, that's good, I guess. I miss her in a way. I'm glad you told me you'd be sending me your cyborg teddies for defense. Otherwise, I would have been a little startled by their arrival.

Municipal bonds? Oh, there just a way to make money. Someday, you'll understand the cold fact that money and a pretty smile will get you just about everything you could want in life. Oh, but actually, I guess you do know that already.

Be safe, my friend,
Doug

I thought maybe these hurricanes were the beginning for B-man but he denies starting them...

Very dark, indeed.

Sue Ann is still gone. Are you gone, too? The house is dark.

Hi, Rhoda,

What'll you give me for a basket of municipal bonds, redeemable at maturity for literally thousands of penmanship awards? Please have your people talk to my people.

In the meantime, could we play a game of checkers? The house is dark and I'm getting scared. Sue Ann has disappeared. I haven't seen her in almost a week.

Your friend,
Doug

Sweet little Rhoda -
Here is a basket of kisses for you!
xxxxxxx
Valerieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Thank you, Rhoda, you are a true friend. I trust you.

I'm sorry I missed the call from Isis. I know she's busy, so it means a lot that she called.

Al Bundy is my hero. He helped me recover from my divorce. You could be an inspiring leader of No Maam.

I'll have more for you tomorrow, Rhoda. You're a nice person.

Your friend,
Doug

Rhoda,

Thank you for protecting me from the beautiful but deadly Sue Ann. She seems to respect you. I don't know what you said to her, but I know my life has been much more serene since you intervened. Hex 21, Shih Ho, is still held in check.

You have goodness within you, Rhoda. If your plans of acquisition leave you unsatisfied, I believe you'll find happiness in a more conventional lifestyle.

Your friend,
Doug

Hi, Rhoda,

I have never watched the movie "American Psycho", because I read the book "American Psycho" by Bret Easton Ellis, and it scared the bejumble out of me. I may act on your suggestion to watch "310 to Yuma", however cute male actors don't hold the charm for me that they apparently hold for you!

Doug

p.s. You are having multiple pings from me! Stay tuned.

Rhoda, I took a look at the icon. Yes, I see the heart. Yes, I see the Easter Bunny. The other thing looks to me more like a breadstick. No, nope, uh-uh... I do not see what the young lady saw.